Archive for December, 2015

That one thing… Part 2

About a month ago I shared some very personal writing here on my blog.  And it seems only fitting that I would share this as well – Part 2 – the learning and growing part.  “Hope Springs Eternal” is a famous quote that is true, but only the right kind of hope.  Our hope must be based on it’s sure, steadfast, forever embodiment:  Jesus Christ.  To base our hope on anything else is to invite pain when the temporal nature of it is exposed.

The aftermath scene

It’s still obvious that disaster happened here

Regrouping is not working

 

Gathering hope and waiting

Yet watching pieces slip through my fingers

Can’t hold on

The pieces pour right through my hands

Like water.

My hands are still empty

 

Struggling longing yearning

For hope

Regathered redesigned reborn

But it’s illusive and vague at best

And at worst

Nonexistent.

Saddened at a level that is surprising and unsettling

 

I was not where I thought I was.

I’ve awakened to find myself in entirely different surroundings

I allowed myself to believe

To hope

Based on another’s actions

What I thought was evidence of real and lasting change

Of moving past

The past

My thoughts were flawed

Hopelessly flawed

 

I’m lost

No familiarity

Nothing to cling to

A wanderer who searches blindly

In the harsh cold sterile grayness of the new reality

Only lingering pain and desperation

Wondering if acceptance of this horrible scene

Is my only option

 

Oh but then the Love…

An enveloping love

A soft and sweet breeze

Caressing with such compassion it takes my breath away

And light

Oh such beautiful light

Gently washing over me

Touching my pain and confusion and frustration

And gradually

Brilliant color replaces the grayness and the shattered chaos

The stark and cold landscape becomes beautiful and warm and sunlit

He shines down on me

I see

I realize

I was clinging to temporary

It was stripped away and crushed

And I was desperately trying to gather pieces that were no longer there

At all.

 

I acknowledge Truth

And I understand.

I must choose

Daily

To have Hope and Joy

Based only on what I know is real and right and true.

Based only on Him and who He is.

Eternal constant and definite

Always.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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